


i smile

by endzone



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Immortality, Immortals, M/M, Reincarnation, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:40:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25825261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/endzone/pseuds/endzone
Summary: In a world where you only get reincarnated when you fade from any living memory, Lee Donghyuck falls in love with Lee Jeno, an immortal.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Lee Jeno
Comments: 5
Kudos: 18





	i smile

**Author's Note:**

> Listen to I Smile by Day6 while you're reading. 
> 
> Not required but just a suggesion uwu

I cry, and I cry, and I cry. I'm being born again, reincarnated. But I'm not crying because leaving my mother's womb hurts, I don't even know why newborn babies cry in the first place. 

I'm crying because _he_ forgot about me; the love of my life who swore that he would never forget the light in my eyes, the curve of my nose, the softness of my lips, and the way that I make him happy. 

But he did. He forgot and he moved on. 

It's unnatural for a newborn to experience such pain that I feel right now. The pain of heartbreak; but how can I not feel this way? How can I when I remember everything?

I remember the day we met. We were at a library, I was sitting on a wooden table near the windows, Lee Jeno approached me with a shy eye smile and asked if the seat in front of me was taken.

It wasn't. 

I remember that Jeno sitting across from me became an unspoken routine. Everyday, he sat in front of me. Everyday, he studied his books and I studied mine. On some days, I studied his beautiful face. 

I remember the day when I told him a joke. It wasn't a very good joke. It was about a crab not sharing his food with his crab friend because he's a shellfish. I expected that he would just roll his eyes and smile politely so that I wouldn't be offended; but when I did, he smiled, showing that one dimple on his cheek; and he laughed. It was nearing sunset but somehow, the sight of him in front of me, laughing, seemed to light up the whole room. 

We got kicked out of the library, of course. He apologized because he said it was his fault for being too loud. I forgave him right away because I remember that that was when he told me that I made him happy. That was also when I decided that I liked his smile and his laugh. I decided that I will make him smile and laugh as much as possible. 

I remember the day that I fell in love with Lee Jeno. It was a random weekend and he randomly texted me that he was coming over.

He wasn't asking. He was informing, his mind already set on his goal to come over. 

I fell in love by how he naturally talked to my parents as if they had known each other for years, how he made them laugh just by being himself. He made them happy... so I was happy. I fell in love by how he picked up my little sister, Areum, from the ground and made her fly around the room like a superhero while our dog, Buster, chased after them. Their giggles(and Buster's barks) filled the room and my heart. 

When they finally got tired, they flopped down on the living room carpet, heaving. Their mouths curved up in wide smiles while Buster curled up into a ball between them.

It's a sight that I never want to forget. 

I remember the day he told me he liked me. We were lying on my bed, reading. I was reading a novel about robots and pirates while he was reading a book about chemistry. 

We were reading in silence when he suddenly blurt out, “Hyuck?”

“Yeah?” I looked up from my book and looked at him in the eye. His hair was disheveled but still beautiful and his eyes held a glint that I couldn't distinguish. 

“I think I like you.” Jeno said. Clear and straightforward, knocking out the breath in me, like he always does. “The ‘I always want to be with you’ kind of like.”

That night, I learned how to sleep with a stomach full of butterflies. 

I remember every morning with Jeno, waking up to his soft and fluffy hair tickling my nose. Whenever I woke up like that, I knew that it's going to be a great day. He was my lucky charm. 

I remember growing old. _Alone._ He was there with me, but I was the only one growing old. 

You see, Jeno isn't human. He doesn't know what he is, or how he came to be, or why he was what he is. But he was certain of one thing. He's immortal and he cannot die. 

The day he told me, he cried and cried and cried and apologized. I didn't know what he was talking about, I didn't understand... But I held him in my arms and whispering sweet nothings to his ear, forgiving him for something that I didn't understand. 

I was skeptical at first but it was making sense. My hair was greying, my skin; wrinkling. But he looked as beautiful and sharp as the day when he asked me if he could sit across me at the library. 

I remember I wiped his tears and told him that atleast I won't see him grow ugly as the years go by. That wasn't true though, because I could never ever consider Lee Jeno to be ugly, with that eye smile and beautiful heart of his. 

It's been forever since we first met but that damn eye smile still turned my stomach into liquid mush. 

I remember the day I died. I was diagnosed with prostate cancer and was terminally ill, there was no saving me. As I lay on the hospital bed, frail, gray, and dying. Jeno sat beside me, beautiful and young as ever. 

“Everything hurts.” I said, not wishing to sugarcoat my words anymore. 

“You've been so strong, Hyuckie.” His eyes were flooding with tears and I thought that nothing in this damn world could have broken my heart more than the sight of him crying his heart out for me. 

Lee Jeno proved me wrong, like he always does, with his next words: “It's okay to let go. It's my turn to be strong.” 

I never knew that two little sentences could hurt so much.

“Hey, don't cry. Atleast you won't get to see my old and ugly face anymore.” I said, trying to lighten the mood. I knew that it wouldn't work but hey, at least I tried. 

“But you're the most beautiful boy that I've ever seen.” Jeno broke into a sob. “Even until now.”

A comfortable silence came between us and I felt myself slipping, like I was being drifted away by the currents of a river of sleep.

“Hey,” I wrapped his hands in mine. “Promise me something?”

He nodded. 

“Never forget about me.”

He wrapped his arms around me and sobbed into my chest. 

“Never.” He promised.

So I layed there, dying, with the soft and fluffy hair of the love of my life tickling my nose. 

When you die, your consciousness drifts around in oblivion, waiting for reincarnation. You only get reincarnated when your past life fade from any living memory. So it may seem macabre, but I was happy drifting alone in oblivion, because it only meant that Lee Jeno hasn't forgotten about me. I drifted for years, decades, centuries even. 

But here I am now: Alive again. 

Alive because Lee Jeno forgot about me. 

—

I'm twenty-years-old now. I thought I had moved on. I thought I had forgotten about him. I even dated many girls and boys. 

But here I am now, twenty years later, sitting at a library and Lee Jeno is sitting five tables away from me but he doesn't see me. He still looks the same. Soft, fluffy hair, that damn eye smile, and he's laughing; the one laugh that I always loved. The one that could light up the whole room. 

It feels good to see him again. It feels great to hear him laugh again. 

But it hurts to see that it's someone else that caused that laughter now. Beside him sat a beautiful boy with bubblegum pink hair; and I'm not gonna lie, they look perfect for each other. 

I want to go to him. Just to see if he would recognize me and remember the memories that we had together, but I decide against it. He's happy now, and that's what matters. Right? 

Please tell me I'm right. 

So I'll just sit here and smile for him. 

Even though it hurts, I smile. 

**Author's Note:**

> I found this writing prompt somewhere on the internet so its not one hundred percent my idea >< i just kinda wrote this many months ago as an exercise for writing.
> 
> Actually wrote this without names but when i reread it earlier today i freaked out bc i thought that this would be great fic material(is it tho?) so i asked my fav moot to give me any nct ship that i haven't written about yet and she gave me nohyuck hehe
> 
> So yeah... Nohyuck enthusiasts, this is for you.
> 
> And yeah im sorry if it hurts. 
> 
> Thoughts? uwu
> 
> Twt: @nomindotae


End file.
